Beauty and the Muse

PSOOTD: Steve Madden Poncho Coat

Posted on: December 14, 2015

Plus-size-model-blogger-detroit (1)

(Photos Courtesy of Reel Clever Films)

Eastern Market Shed

Detroit, MI

12/14/15

Steve Madden Poncho Coat

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It is so hard to find coats that are stylish and fits my pear/apple shaped physique.

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I took a trip to TJ Maxx and laid eyes on this beauty. It’s a poncho coat with buttons and a hood. Super warm. Has an adjustable cinched waist and it’s oh-so-stylish. It cost $89.

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On this day, I was soooo tired. I didn’t feel like getting dressed or putting on any makeup. But Eden of Reel Clever Films had a booth at Eastern Market and I had to support. So, I dragged myself out of the house. Did a little beat. And went. Sometimes you just have to take that first step.

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I am so thankful to have photographers in my life, especially since my camera gave out on me. Ugh! That’s another story.

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But at the end of the day, these pictures came out super fab. Thanks boo.

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I couldn’t even post yesterday because I was over it. For a long time I racked my brain. What could I say that had meaning. Impact. How could I make someone else’s day better instead of dwelling in my own existential crisis? Nothing. I felt like giving up... Truth is, that sometimes I feel like I am living the lives of two or three very different people. There’s the internet persona. The IRL me. And, the me when I’m alone with my own thoughts. Sometimes they intersect and other times they fly in different directions, dragging me along. In 2013, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I felt as though I’d been branded. Where I came from, you just prayed your mental problems away. You just hid them. You dealt with it. Privately. Because having mental issues meant that something was wrong with you. Your faith was weak. I have these bouts where I have no clue who I am. I am floating. I am imbalanced. And on edge. Crying at any little thing. I look at photos of myself, cringe, and find the most hideous things to nitpick at. I feel like the hugest person in the room. I’m taking up too much space. I don’t deserve the things that I have. There’s this pressure on my chest, on my back to perform. Because that’s what everyone else does here. They perform. For likes. I’m sharing this because I know that in my current state, sharing my ugly non-IG worthy struggles with identity and mental illness will touch someone else. Someone else needs to hear this. That we ain’t all okay all the time and that’s okay. I’m sending you love. How does this confessional make you feel? Are you okay today or are you not okay? Let’s normalize conversations about mental illness. This is a safe space to chat ❤️ 📸 @awake.dreaming #detroitblogger #psootd #mentalhealth #instafashion #bodypositive #portraitphotography #effyourbeautystandards #pizzasisters4lyfe #blackgirlswhoblog #londonblogger #psfashion #blackgirlmagic #muslimgirl #fatacceptance #seventeen #queen #turbanista #honormycurves #bodydysmorphia #instabeauty #intersectionalfeminism #fashionblogger #sequindress #eatingdisorderrecovery #editorial #hijabi #modestfashion #selfcare #monochromatic #highfashion

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