Beauty and the Muse

Archive for February 2015

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Ladies Night Out

Art Van Furniture

Shelby Township, MI

February 8th 2015

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So this is a funny story. I had a casting call to be at right before Nigel’s book release of “Models of Influence”. Long story short, I got there half an hour late. The ladies at the front desk told me that I would NOT be able to see Nigel or get a signed copy of his book because they gave out all the passes! I died a little inside.

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Out of the blue, an older gentlemen who worded there gave me his VIP pass. I died again. Thanks Art Van man!

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While we waited for Nigel in line, we began to sweat and figure out what we were going to say him. We applied our gloss and got the cameras ready.

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This was a dream come true! Nigel was such a gentlemen. He told me he liked my headwrap and that I need to blog about his book. I said, “no prob.” He even commented on my FB stat!

20150208_185133We got our books signed! Make sure you get a copy. It has some amazing photos of models from the 60’s to now.

20150208_184815I will cherish this experience 🙂

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We have a banquet/graduation every January at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania. New and old students, faculty, and board members come together to congratulate the graduating students. I took the liberty of taking about a hundred selfies/usies with all my lovely cohorts and faculty members.

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Let’s talk about my OOTD for a second: dress with gold belt attached and shawl from Forever 21 Plus, the white scarf/turban came from Burlington Coat Factory, and the black scarf around my neck was from Lane Bryant. The gold bracelets were gifts. I wanted to go for a gothic Roman empire chic look. How’d did I do?

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My Mentor, Taylor P.

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The wonderful Kaylie J.

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A wonderful bunch of writers 🙂

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I couldn’t even post yesterday because I was over it. For a long time I racked my brain. What could I say that had meaning. Impact. How could I make someone else’s day better instead of dwelling in my own existential crisis? Nothing. I felt like giving up... Truth is, that sometimes I feel like I am living the lives of two or three very different people. There’s the internet persona. The IRL me. And, the me when I’m alone with my own thoughts. Sometimes they intersect and other times they fly in different directions, dragging me along. In 2013, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I felt as though I’d been branded. Where I came from, you just prayed your mental problems away. You just hid them. You dealt with it. Privately. Because having mental issues meant that something was wrong with you. Your faith was weak. I have these bouts where I have no clue who I am. I am floating. I am imbalanced. And on edge. Crying at any little thing. I look at photos of myself, cringe, and find the most hideous things to nitpick at. I feel like the hugest person in the room. I’m taking up too much space. I don’t deserve the things that I have. There’s this pressure on my chest, on my back to perform. Because that’s what everyone else does here. They perform. For likes. I’m sharing this because I know that in my current state, sharing my ugly non-IG worthy struggles with identity and mental illness will touch someone else. Someone else needs to hear this. That we ain’t all okay all the time and that’s okay. I’m sending you love. How does this confessional make you feel? Are you okay today or are you not okay? Let’s normalize conversations about mental illness. This is a safe space to chat ❤️ 📸 @awake.dreaming #detroitblogger #psootd #mentalhealth #instafashion #bodypositive #portraitphotography #effyourbeautystandards #pizzasisters4lyfe #blackgirlswhoblog #londonblogger #psfashion #blackgirlmagic #muslimgirl #fatacceptance #seventeen #queen #turbanista #honormycurves #bodydysmorphia #instabeauty #intersectionalfeminism #fashionblogger #sequindress #eatingdisorderrecovery #editorial #hijabi #modestfashion #selfcare #monochromatic #highfashion

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